i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
