When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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