East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
