This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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