just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
