I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
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