Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
