i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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