It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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