theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
this boner is exhausting
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
