All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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