I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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