You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
