so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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