i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
if i died would you start the facebook group?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
