Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
