umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
