It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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