chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
