My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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