margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
