I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
