I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
