i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
