dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
