How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
either way he was missing a nipple.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
