Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
