didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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