His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
