Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
