We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
