I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
