I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
