Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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