"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
