I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
