Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
