sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Ketchup is God's man juice
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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