Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
