Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Can I color on your dick again?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
