are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
