david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
