I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
