shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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