And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
