The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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