he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You ate ashes out of my bong
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I smell like Dick and happiness
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