Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
