Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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