birth control should be required to get into college
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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