operation have a gay friend backfired
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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